Every relationship has its ups and downs. But if issues aren’t really resolved or addressed enough, pain and anger can build, leading your relationship in an unhealthy and unhappy direction. When this happens, many couples wonder if they can “start over.”
If you really think about it, you won’t want to, at least not in the literal sense. Starting over would mean trying to get back what you had, which you’ve already found to include some serious flaws, even if they weren’t apparent at first. With that said, if you still truly love each other and are committed to making positive changes, you may be able to learn from the past and heal your relationship.
Being able to remember the “good things” about your relationship is a sign that you can probably do this. Do you remember the fun you used to have together? If you can, and it gives you an idea of what it felt like back then, you can use that ability to help rebuild a positive connection. They can reflect on those moments and generate positive feelings toward others that strengthen their emotional connection, increase their determination to solve problems, and generate hope for a happier future together.
Other Essential Elements To Heal And Rebuild Your Relationship Are:
They both feel respected. If this aspect of your relationship is unstable, you will have to work to build it through loving conversations in which both of you express your desire to understand and support the other. Although this can be difficult and time-consuming, it is often possible. However, your relationship may be irreparable if either partner sees the other as unworthy of respect and expresses contempt.
You think your partner is speaking to you sincerely. Even if you don’t fully understand your partner or have a hard time empathizing with them, if they communicate honestly from the heart, you can at least know that they are being open with you, which is important because they show a desire to be close. However, if you don’t think they’re being honest, you won’t believe them no matter what good things they say about wanting to change, worrying about how you feel, or whatever else.
You feel emotionally safe and supported. In order to have a healthy relationship, both people should feel that they can turn to their partner to take care of them during difficult times. It is also important that you feel supported and encouraged to pursue your interests and live your values. This tells you that your partner respects you and wants the best for you. Even if they have reservations about your plans, they will ultimately be there to help you. And when you make mistakes along the way or decisions that turn out to be not the best, they are still there to help you get through them.
If your relationship has strayed from this type of mutual support, you will need to take the time to talk about it. Address how each of you might feel lonely, hurt, angry, or whatever. When both of you can re-experience the sense of support in your relationship, hopefully, you will also feel a renewed sense of connection and commitment.
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As you discuss your struggles together, it may be helpful to consult with family, friends, clergy, or a therapist. Your outside perspective can be especially helpful when you feel overwhelmed or confused. They can also offer you much-needed sympathy, compassion, and support. Ultimately, it is your true love, persistence, and effort, and that of your partner, that will make it possible to heal your relationship.